Spooky NBA Players
Written by Jacob Majka on October 30, 2019
Photo credit: twitter.com
Happy spooky season and happy basketball season! There are certain NBA players who strike fear into their opponents like no other. They live in other players’ heads and torture them mentally and physically. Just like… Freddy Kreuger? See where I’m going with this? Let’s get started.
Kawhi Leonard= Michael Myers
Leonard does his damage in silence. If Michael Myers ripped off his mask in the middle of the movie, and his face turned out to be Kawhi Leonard’s, what percentage of you would even be surprised? 10%? 5%? This one was too easy.
The similarities are all over the place. Their form is methodical. Leonard and Myers have no wasted movements. They are never particularly in a rush and through different franchises, they have survived and thrived. Two true legends of their craft just scratching the surface of their potential. Poetic, almost.
Lebron James=Freddie Kreuger
I know he’s dressed as Jason in the picture above but hear me out: Lebron is wrong. If there is one player in the NBA who lives inside every single player’s head, it’s Freddy Kreuger. Honestly, NBA players are probably just as afraid of Freddy Kreuger as they are James.
Doesn’t the dude kill you in your dreams? I don’t know if I like that. Oh, and for the last 10 years, James has decimated almost every single NBA team, and now he’s on the league’s premier franchise, and he has possibly the best teammate he’s ever had. Now THAT’s scary!
Patrick Beverley=Scrappy Doo
Now, before you say anything, yes Scrappy counts! First of all, it’s my article so I can do whatever I want, but also, any cultured college student has seen the Scooby-Doo movie where Scrappy actually turns into a pretty formidable bad guy and steals a whole island worth of people’s souls!
Beverley would do the same thing. He and Chris Paul battle it out every year over who has a worse little man complex. This year, Beverley wins. The Clippers also have Scrappy and Michael Myers on the same team apparently?!
James Harden= Jason Vorhees
Here’s the actual Jason of the NBA. As much as you hate him, as much as you hate that he can’t die, As much as you hate that he dribbles 99 times in a row then hit a step-back three-pointer in your face, it doesn’t matter! These dudes will not go away, and they will cause terror no matter where they are or who their with.
Russell Westbrook replacing Chris Paul? No problem, Harden is still going to score 35 a night, and the Rockets are going to be at the top of the west. Do you think you can get rid of Jason? He’ll follow you into SPACE. Like, come on!
Nikola Jokic=Frankenstein’s Monster
If you were building a perfect basketball player in a mad scientists’ lab, you would come out with Nikola Jokic. Yes, he can do everything. He’s a big body with vision like a point guard and the athleticism of a 48-year-old tax attorney at the rec on a Friday morning.
He’s one of the NBA’s most skilled all-around players and is almost a guaranteed walking triple-double. He just looks awkward doing it and honestly, if you painted him green, wouldn’t he look exactly like what you imagine Frankenstein’s monster would look like? Think about it for a second and come back to me.
Got it? That’s a great sight, right?