Sorry Joe, Josh is Now My Favorite Host of Blues Clues

Hi everyone. As we close out these final minutes of 2019 I want my last act to be whatever this article is going to end up as. I’d like to start by apologizing, mostly to my mom because nobody wins here. This has no actual point or news value but I just can’t start a new decade without letting you all know the truth.

To put this into some context for you all, (not that this is going to be any less weird with or without it) about four months ago at the first staff meeting I jokingly pitched this idea.

we can’t have this article without putting some respect on the man himself Steve/ courtesy: Everett Collection

Only, I guess people thought I wasn’t joking. I have been hounded by my staffers for months about this article and my mother did not raise a quitter. So here we are. 

I can’t apologize for how I feel alright?

Back in ye olden days of 2002, I went through my first heartbreak. Steve left Blue’s Clues to go to college and in his place, his brother Joe was left to save the day. At that moment my unformed brain knew that Donovan Patton was going to hold a special place in my heart.

Now my baby brother was born in 2003, so I was watching Blue’s Clues (and by proxy Blue’s Room) way longer than I probably should have been.

look at sprinkles and tell me you wouldn’t die for him

But can you blame me? Sprinkles was the cutest goddamn thing to come out of Blue’s Room. 

For those that don’t know Blue’s Room was this spinoff that ran from 2004 to 2007 where Blue and her friends play in a special room, where Blue has the ability to talk, rather than just yip. It’s like half animated half puppeted I guess? I know it was a real thing because I watched all of it and there was a whiteboard that sang about doodling until we guessed what he was drawing. He was my least favorite part but then I came to college and was prepared for men in general! But I digress.

Blue’s Clues and its affiliates went off the air in 2007 and you can bet your sweet cherry bottom that my brother and I decided to occupy my parent’s queen-sized bed to watch the finale. I will always hold that special feeling that Blue’s Clues made me feel close to my heart. We cried that night over the shared loss of our favorite TV show but then packed it up and moved on to other things like Max and Ruby. Another standout moment in our post-Blue’s Clues world was being forced to sit through eight-hour blocks of the Wonderpets with my brother asleep on top of me and the remote on the other side of the room.

So now riddle me this. Did I at the age of 20 have a moral crisis when I saw this video? Did I proceed to tell anyone that would listen to me about how Joe was still the finest looking host of Blue’s Clues after?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENwEh0i6DIU

Yes, the answer is yes. I’m writing a whole damn article about this. I mean just look at him. This man aged like the finest wine.

I was 100% without a doubt in love with Joe from Blue’s Clues and I’m not afraid to admit it

Now, I have not kept up with Donovan Patton (the real name of Joe from Blue’s Clues) since 2006 because I didn’t really need to. In researching what he’s up to he actually is married and has kids! Good for them honestly. Patton was just a lingering thought that I think I held on to because now that I’m sitting down and writing this, my first boyfriend looked a lot like Joe from Blue’s Clues. It’s dawning on me that I may have a problem. 

Donovan Patton, if you’re reading this just know I am no longer with that boyfriend, he just could not compare to your square sweater character. He did not age nearly as well as you my good sir.

I was fully prepared to write this as a piece dedicated to my main man Joe BUT THEN, I saw this tweet

Just in case you can’t fully see what we’re looking at here please let me allow you to take a deeper look.

i just… don’t get it??? H O W ???

Now. I know what you’re saying. “Jenn this is so terribly off-brand for you” to which I say PEOPLE CHANGE DEBORAH. 

Step aside my lanky square sweater, khaki wearing heartthrob because your cousin Josh has taken the place of my dream Blue’s Clues man. To catch you up to speed, Joshua Dela Cruz was chosen out of 3,000 applicants to be the host of the Blue’s Clues Reboot.

In my professional opinion, Josh has all the childlike innocence I loved about Joe but is able to play into my nostalgia and make me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I have a sudden memory surge of the original series with Steve. 

to see this screenshot is to make me cry

The basic personal information you need to know about Josh is that he’s 25, vegan and an environmental activist, into brazillian jiu jitsu, has a dog named Ollie, was on BROADWAY and also loves and supports his wife Amanda. If you’re anything like me and reading playbill.com in 2015 you may have seen their adorable proposal video. They’re so gosh darn cute I want a love like this.

Okay so to recap, Josh is a super cool dude with a super cute wife and a dog, so Josh and Amanda Dela Cruz, if you read this, i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night when i’m free.

I told you there were no winners here I just had to let you all know my thoughts without the confines of the 240 characters that twitter allows. Which is now, what I’m realizing is a good thing.

TLDR; I still love all the hosts of Blue’s Clues in different ways, I just happen to love Josh (plus his wife and their dog) just a little but more.

Happy 2020 everyone!